it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
