I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
