Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
