question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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