Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
