and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So many bounce houses so little time
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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