Porn is love you can see.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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