You're my little dorito
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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