i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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