I seem to have left my pride at pride
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
