its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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