I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
