Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
