The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
