glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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