My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
