Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
