if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Let's get the cat blown out
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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