Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
