For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
