Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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