Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You smell like stripper and shame
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
