They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
