I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
