last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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