Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
there was a trapeze. enough said
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
