5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
