you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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