I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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