Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
