if i can run in heels then i can drive
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize