Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
