ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize