He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
