Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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