so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
