Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize