i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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