I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
