final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
