Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
