we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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