just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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