I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
