by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Boobs speak an international language.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
