I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
