we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
