i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
