So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
