I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
