Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Quick, to the slutcave!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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