I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
