My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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