I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize