I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
