what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
