I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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