WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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