She is in my trunk
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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