so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
