im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
