I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
