Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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