We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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