dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
