i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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